ladies and gentlemen...

she won!

I'd also like to warn a lengthy post ensues.

Saturday was a lovely beach day; and TEAM HOOPER were very pleased with the results of the portsea classic.

on the drive down we talked quite a lot about strategy. I made some helpful comments like;

“at least your suits not black, you’d look like a tasty little seal.”

“dell, it’s black.”

we hummed and harred about what the sharks might think; whether they would be intimidated by a large group of thrashing arms and legs, and basically be just, “what the fuck?”
though my theory was,
”they love that shit. it just increases their chances of a catch. you know how they just swim into a shoal of fish with their mouths open… “

I ran from the start line over to the jetty to wait for her to swim past, running next to her, and when she looked up cheered “HOOPER HOOPER HOOPER! YAY!” I ran back to the finish line. but lightning HOOPER beat me to it.

funny too. when they finished they got given bananas. HA!

you just swam 1.8 kilometres? here, have a BANANA.

I think she is my hero. I was very proud. she’d had practically no training, she’d overcome a year plagued with injury, china and a wayward support team, headed by a coach who kept disappearing to the pub… any discrepancies in time and race details can be written off to pre-race human error.

during the race, she was a gun.


SO, I was pretty shattered when I got to the retreat on Saturday night. struggling to be awake, BUT, I was charmed and delighted to meet you, see you, kiss you and dance with you. no really, the pleasure is all mine.

the costume element was lovely, how delightful to end up at THE pony in beachy short shorts with a lady in her bathing suit and jaunty sailor hat. many of the punters were delighted. it was kind of like Christmas for them, and most entertaining to watch. also pretty kate, she’s my friend who, you can guarantee, if you go out with her, there will be boys professing their love… quite entertaining, testing our defense tactics. occasionally needing to save each other from misguided attentions.*

*we had men doing interpretive dance for us.


fast forward to an early Sunday morning tram, realizing that you’ll never make it out there on your own. so you jump off with your pretty girl, heading to her boyfriends at least til you work up the courage to call yours, to see if he too would like a visit from a devastated & difficult girl.

after all the unseemly shit I had subjected my body to, ironic how it was the ginger beer at 8 30 in the morning waiting for the tram to pats place that was my undoing. it was hot, it made my heart hurt. I had been to THE pony. YUCK. and the wilds of Northcote. and got lost trying to cross merri creek near a golf course. asking for help from early morning (who are these people?) golfers. and no, they don’t want to talk to a dirty stop out TM. they don’t even like you walking in their direction.

I had been just fine with all that, until I sat in the shade drinking ginger beer. granted it was the start of a hellish hot day, and I had had no sleep and done no favours to my body. it was my first little bit of time on my own. no partners in crime, too much time to think, but with only a broken brain. hence the sore heart, but yes dell, lets blame the ginger beer.

I was saved by a pretty girl calling, softly, tranquilized down the phone, “dell, I have a dog” “I HAVE A DOG!”

what could i say?

“yes, and she’s SO soft, and lovely

she is too.

I made it to pats just in time. any longer in the heat and I’m sure I would’ve died. thankfully he let me in.
I had broken my brain and body, and it felt like the end of the world was nigh. a hot wind blowing and heavy looming clouds lurking over the city.

so we went and saw king kong. & despite the unwarranted length it was perfect really cause it gave me the opportunity to catch up on some sleep. and wake up to some beautiful moments with that handsome ape.

AWW big monkey love.


in summary. LADIES! I love them. so very good to look at, & talk to… and so clever too. my heart is surely with you.

gentlemen. I don’t understand. but I can’t help loving them too.

even the messy MESSY ones, and the funny ones and the clever ones, and well, you get the picture…

PS.I finally admitted to my girlfriends that yes, ok, I have a boyfriend. their response?

HA! sucked in!

exactly…see, they understand!

i was walking home this afternoon, in the same beach outfit of three days ago* when across my path came 3 pre-pubescent girls, laughing and singing "those boots are made for walking.."

i love it when the kids take the piss.

*dirty stop out TM


problematic said...

what fun and a lnog post worth the wait,
so how do i get rights to

and who has a puppy dog? id love to meet it... i am about to acquire a rabbit, who is also soft.

coalface is his name.

Cameron said...

keep the good times rolling lady...from across the frozen northern tundra let me compliment you on your amazing stamina in such trying conditions. A Melbourne heat wave sure can drain the spirits, especially after too much ginger beer dancing at the pony and batting off all those errant suitors. The long post was as always most welcome around these parts; I could feel you pain cheering on hoops to ever greater heights of speed and endurance (much like your early morning trek across merri creek I imagine!); lucky you had a furry spirit guide to send you in the right direction!

And those pesky punk rock kids were right - those boots are made for walking Dell! Glad to hear that you've once more descended into the madness of couple-dom. Ain't nothing better sister! Much love and fond thoughts. Cameron

ms fits said...

Wait, was that me saying I have a dog? THIS IS BECOMING SOMETHING I SAY WHEN MESSY.

I am frightened. Please advise. x

Sherriff said...

Even the messy, messy, messy, messy, MESSY, MESSY, MESSIEST ONES?

Thankyou for going to The Pony.


hell said...


problematic. you earn your label...

ms fits it was you, WHO ELSE! but it helped me through my darkest hour. so thank you. x

messy messy messy matty messiest ones i can't seem to help liking...

dirty stop out