the all seeing oracle

CAPRICORN happy birthday! goaty face.

you're probably going to get drunk, maybe come around to the festive thing abit late, but lets face it, you are always a little behind. maybe even fight with your friend, cry in the pub, then vomit on your boot after chatting up two! yes two! 22 year olds after avoiding family bbqs with THE most handsome boy in the world... or something.

AQUARIUS
this is the dawning of the age of capricorn. get over yourselves. NO! you are the most clever! and SPECIAL. and i didn't mean it when i said GET FUCKED

PISCES
you are the best. much better than me. youranus will deliver a special present... DON"T OPEN IT!

ARIES
chutney club waits for no man

TAURUS
your boyfriend is a drunk

GEMINI
i don't know you. are you flirting with me?

CANCER
i know your busy right now but call me. i miss you.

LEO
you might suckface with the gurus twin brother... love interests? don't stand in the poo... yuck. too late.

VIRGO
you are so boring, drink more it might make you fun...NO? nice to try though.

LIBRA
oh you are SO PRETTY. and charming. NO don't blush. you know it. EVERYBODY is in love with you. YES YOU. pity we are so incompatible. but maybe we should get it on.

SCORPIO
i love you you weirdo

SAGITARIUS
but i love YOU more. much more.